TARA: Never mind abuse, here's the real problem

Fifty Shades of Glaze
If it doesn't make you cream, we don't know what will.

Started this as a Valentine's Day gift before a fatty wanker I follow conveniently said that BDSM is the most boring kink in the world. Me, I don't get hot from watching erotic films and yet I still want to see The Duke of Burgundy, being the more choosy chap. I hear it begins with pee fetishism and yet is still sexier than this 50 Shades of Grey rubbish. If you want to get involved in some movie controversy this month, check out Kingsman and, uh, see what you think of The Interview.

Happy belated Valentine's Day, and I'm sorry I was so late with it unless you like to do it the Belcher way!